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I would feel bad, except that the authors of the messages that provoke that kind of reaction most certainly do not give a fuck. Because they sent that same exact masturbatory-ass message to me AND two of my friends. So I’ve come up with a few categories of messages that you’re liable to receive if you find yourself being simultaneously female and in possession of an online dating profile.May God have mercy on our souls, and may whoever invented the backhanded compliment as flirting tactic (damn you, popular MTV pickup artist Mystery!Hmm, if she was up for adventure, we could go shoot some guns, indoor rock climbing, or snowboarding too.Guess I’ll have to wait and see if she decides, here’s an interesting guy that shows great promise.” I think he thinks this message is about me (or, rather, “she”) because he’s listing things he’d supposedly want to do with me, but it isn’t.

—but nothing on the level of the backhanded assholeish-ness that infiltrated my inbox from day one on Ok Cupid. Like I said, I know this is random, but I had to let you know. If you want though, you should look at my profile, I worked really hard on it, haha, but there is a lot of information on there, so only go read it if you enjoy reading or you could hate your life. Maybe because they can’t make a first impression with clothing or intensely acidic cologne, some of the men on Ok Cupid peacock in a different way: bragging.However, I’ve since met some very nice ISTJs so I will give you a chance ;) Are you a standup comedian or do you like to make people laugh in a more natural setting? It’s the outline of a polite question distilled by highly corrosive acid and then sprayed into my face with a high-powered hose. I know this was a surprise to many of these messages’ authors, because I could see them returning to my profile for days afterward, checking to see if I’d been online.I actually have a room­mate who is/was a standup comedian but I’ve never heard him and don’t find him particularly funny! ” Fine: This was before I realized that listing a Myers-Briggs personality type in a dating profile was gauche. (If you haven’t gotten the hint yet, online dating is creepy and terrifying.) Prior to Ok C, I never got the feeling that anyone who was being mean to me was laboring under the impression that doing so would give me a sudden and inexplicable desire to drop my pants.It’s spitting in her face and then asking her out after.It is a statement that almost sounds nice if you aren’t listening very closely.

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